Gabrielle

When you disappeared behind the security check desk my heart just seemed to fall down into my stomach and even though I tried so hard not to cry when you were still there Pauline had trouble to calm me down as we were walking back. We went to Starbucks. And I couldn't even order an iced caramel macchiato. I couldn't. I got bottled water. That never happened before. I went to the Schmaus last night and got scared while walking thorough the dark streets. I felt so alone. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed being with you for this one month. You were there, always and now you're just gone and all that remains is a bed with just one blanket in it instead of two and a strangely cleaned up room with this little bit of mess missing that made it so welcoming and cozy and inviting. I miss waking up at night, peeking over to your side just to see if you were still there, and it always made me smile to see you lay there so peacefully, and sometimes with your mouth open a little bit. It was hard to get up today and knowing there's not gonna be a good morning hug or a 'did you sleep good?' and there's also no one making me an iced coffee anymore. I like how you always make me laugh and how I can be entirely myself when I am with you. You made me think a lot. I feel like I learned the basis of thinking while you were here. My brain seems like it is washed and I make myself think so much more in entirely different ways than I did before. And I like it! If you were here I always had a person to share everything with. I feel like this trip made you realize a lot and that makes me really happy. Traveling is such a great thing. It makes you appreciate what you have and how much you love it deep inside. As sad and annoying it might be that we live so far apart is that we have something special. And as you said, we don't need to see each other that much or we don't have to communicate all the time, and even tough it would be so much nicer living close to each other, we would just be like any other people. You remember that feeling at the airport when we hugged each other for the first time in three months? Or the sudden wave of happiness that I was filled with at random times while you were here. The thought that we have to use our time, because it is limited. And we really did that. We did so much. More than I've ever done with any other friend in such a short period of time. The distance gives our friendship something really special and I love that even though I hate it so much. It's awesome that our lives are so different from each other's but yet we get the change to look into another world sometimes.